Little Frolick

The aim of life is to live and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware. - Henry Miller.

and so it is, that it may be

thursday night in Singapore and an old pal of mine and i were sat at Wala's once again like old times except now it's so unlike the old times.

there are good changes, bad changes and then there are just changes. Wala's was the place we would laugh at, cry at, gossip about the world at and of course; sing a long to the live bands. it's been multiple years of us patronizing that place and perhaps we've changed, or maybe it's just the management that has but tonight felt like our combined emptiness reverberated off any possible surface. why is it that now we have issues that even beer can no longer wash away? have we been that awful to ourselves?

apparently in this modern age there are still people who think that being homosexual is a sin, that it's a disease that can and must be eradicated or repressed. it is true, then, that our human advancement has armed us only with more confusion for the soul and less guidance for the mind. she takes these comments like a sword to her heart and yes, my friend is angry.

i tell her that people say retarded things like that and cast judgement upon others because of their own personal unresolved issues. projection, if you like to call it that, or their own fears, hopes, desires and hates. she retorts that still, those words are reason to get angry - like how i get upset when i'm accused of being too 'free' with myself. ah. i guess we can never be free from the people around us.

this is such a lonely city, lost individuals who fill their waking moments with distraction after distraction. we run to find solace in each other, in games, in work, hobbies and bad habits. seeking warmth in various shapes and sizes. this is such a lonely town.

we left early after exhausting each other with our separate but now connected gripes and i am typing again in the living room which is now blessed with an amazing collection of books! and that too is something comforting. even Ivy loves the bookcase - but i cannot help but feel like an accidental when i look at T's collection of stories. we have a couple of books in common - have you been to a household with 2 copies of Dante's Divine Comedy? perhaps the only difference is that my copy hasn't been read to the end.

oh yes, perhaps i am an accidental; and i tell him that we come from two different and separate worlds. and then that song, that Sundays song rings in my head - it rings in my head.

 

posted by: crysalis at 01:32 | link | comments |

for the long haul

this is the second time i have moved since coming back to sunny singapore. said goodbye to quaint dover estate and to being a hop away from devi's delicious chappati, packed all my stuff and moved into a white living space with ivy the cat and T my new companion. we are surrounded by concrete and convenience, a more delicious coffee shop and a promise of some wicked good times. i like this - it's comfortable and feels almost effortless.

i'm learning new things, like how to play mahjong and how to be less isolated.

a start, isn't it?

 

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posted by: crysalis at 23:33 | link | comments |

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