Little Frolick

The aim of life is to live and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware. - Henry Miller.

orion

 

One of the most obvious features people see in Orion is the three stars that make up what most people consider the belt of the giant. Mintaka , the westernmost star in the belt, comes from the Arabic word for belt. Alnilam, the center star in the belt, means "a belt of pearls". And Alnitak, the eastern-most star, means the girdle. All three are at the same distance from us and, with Rigel, Saiph, and Meissa, probably formed at about the same time some ten million years ago from the molecular clouds astronomers have found in Orion.

***

I am in love with Orion, the great hunter, warrior and lover of the night sky. Funny that my star is Scorpius, the very one that brought his downfall. Perhaps my life is a repetition of that folklore, a past life relived now. Instead of messenger birds we have mobile phones and email. Maybe all life now is a repitition of what came before. All myths stem from the same source. All loves, all romances, all stories come from the same well, the same wealth of knowledge. All life is a meme.

Art is meme.

All life is art. Art is life.

:Love is art - art is love physically manifested.

Sex is love physically expressed. Sex is meme.

***

I am threading on thin ice - involving myself in people i shouldn't be; encouraging behaviour that I know I should best not. But it's something in me that I cannot help but give into; and suspect that there is a strong genetic explanation for my promiscuity and disrespect for the band on the third finger on the left. The finger that the fish should've bit. My brother had an affair, my dad had an affair. I am having an affair. A dalliance. I read her blog. I kiss her husband. 

I admire Anais Nin, but her self absorption bothers me.

You have to be somewhat conceited to have an affair.

But I feel like my skin speaks to his; I feel his skin speaks to me. It is safe and warm in his arms, it is easy to talk to him. Cliche cliche - his wife spends little time pleasing him. He feels so much for me. Cliche and cliche again. But life is a meme - and so are affairs. I will give in to the natural cycle of life.

My dad would say that I am confused in my thinking. I would agree.

I sit and wonder, a solitary shadow in the dark. Peeking at the stars and wondering if anyone else was looking at that same mirror thinking about me too. A lonely smoker on the park bench; lonely but happy to be. There is pleasure in solitude, freedom in singlehood. Like little specks of fine diamond dust scattered in the sky - bits of wisdom, bits of things that have seen the earth move through what we call history. They own memories of time past and bless us with it when we stare.

***

I stare. I see you thinking of me. I see imminent mess. I see trouble coming. I see me fleeing you. I see heartbreak. I see the meme of me repeating and repeating. But I love you, I love me loving you. I see me loving in you everyone I have ever loved.

***

I'll never feel the weight of your hands
Inside mine like diamonds
Lace so fine ballerina
Cupcake and my earthquake
Wakes me from my sleep that
Never comes, are you breathing
Waiting for me

I didn't really want you
But I want you now
Was so foolish of me
Feel you tumbling down
Into that empty room
The lights went out
I want to rescue want to scream out loud

I didn't think I needed you
But I need you now
Was so empty in me
Feel you crashing down
Into the empty world
The music stops
I want to rescue want to scream out loud
You will always be mine

The room spins
Pull you from me
My body burns
Tell me all the rainbows
The colors that the rain throws
Ballerina dance softly
She knows when to come only
When she's called on slowly coming to

I didn't really want you
But I need you
Was so foolish of me
Feel you tumbling down
Into that empty room
The lights went out
Want to rescue want to scream out loud

I didn't think I wanted you
But I want you now
Was so empty in me
Feel you crashing down
Into the empty world
The music stops
I want to rescue want to scream out loud
You will always be mine

So so sorry
Just come back for me now
So so sorry
Just come back to me now
Or soon

I didn't think I wanted you
But I want you now
Was so foolish of me
Feel you tumbling down
Into that empty room
The lights went out
Wanted to rescue want to scream out loud
I didn't think I needed you
But I need you now
Was so empty in me
Feel you tumbling down
Into that empty room
The lights went out
I want to rescue want to scream out loud
That you will always be mine

~ballerina~

Leona Naess

posted by: crysalis at 23:41 | link | comments (3) |

Feast for the EYES

S. Nandagopal's exhibition at the Singapore Art Museum was really breathtaking. He's so skilled! Part of the reason why the exhibit was so stunning was that it was placed in the prettiest room in the S.A.M - where pretty chandeliers hang and twinkle - his scupltures danced and frolicked in the light. Totally beautiful. I think the exhibit has run its course but if it hasn't, do go down and take a look. spend about and hour in that room and just soak in the glimmer.

 

The rest of the exhibitions on now are pretty good too; worth the entrance fee and the time it takes to look at the paintings.

 

 

posted by: crysalis at 22:32 | link | comments |

bow string me

elvish bow. yum.

had our first archery lesson on sunday - totally stoked and i can't wait to shoot my own arrows next week.

posted by: crysalis at 10:47 | link | comments |

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